Sea of Madness

Book of Nod Vol II Entry 4

It seems that having Cassius keep an eye on me has exacerbated the problem, or at least distanced Cassius from myself. Out of the people that I can at least vaguely trust, it seems he can no longer be a part of them. I remember him coming into my cabin saying he had something really important to tell me, then nothing. The vacuum hit me for could have been a day’s worth of time for all I know. I was back in my room, confused. I had gone back to find Cassius and he was nowhere to be found. I had later discovered he had some sort of seizure.
I do not know what is going on with me and I have no clue what happened. I’d wished to ask him later and Cassius has since been avoiding me. I have to wonder if it was me who put him into a seizure. That thought terrifies me. Quite frankly, I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid of what Cassius would say. What happens if the Prince has possession of me? What happens if he gains complete control? What if the best course of action would be for me to die?
While the current dilemma with the dead rising, I feel it ironic that it’s a pleasant distraction. It gives me a reason to not think about my problem and its possible repercussions. Hopefully time will allow everything to work out. I am too closely involved to look at this objectively.
I think for once, perhaps I’ll just wait and hope things work out.



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